Today we have reached the highest point in our family life. Dad and I are delighted to see you and Sara getting married in this magnificent redwood forest. 28 years ago back in Beijing when Dad and I decided to get married little did we know what a wonderful son would come into our life.Since then we have watched every step in your growing-up with pride and happiness. After 26 years you have grown from a cheerful and charming little boy into a handsome groom, now bringing a beautiful bride into our family. At this joyful moment I want to address some of the highlights in your life that we are proud of:
1. The first successful steps you took: Len: When Eli was 8 or 9 months old he learned to sit and then to walk but skip the crawling stage. Often he tried to stand up from a sitting position but kept falling, hitting his big head against the edge of a table or the carpet. Without giving up he persisted. First he tried to walk a short distance with Mom and Dad standing on each end. Gradually he learned to walk steadily and independently. 2. Skipping the difficult stages of “terrible two’s” and “rebellious teens:” I often heard other parents complaining about how difficult their child behaved at age 2 or as a teenager. So when Eli was two, we expected him to have a temper tantrum now and then, but it never happened. As a teenage boy, we expected him to be difficult and self-willed, but Eli promised us that he would never be rebellious. Thank God! He hasn't been--yet. Why Eli saved us so much grief by skipping those difficult periods is a mystery to us. But I’m not complaining. I hope it continues.
3. Venturing down the steep slopes from the Gunstock Mountain: [Len:] When Eli grew older we took him to Gunstock Mountain in New Hampshire to learn snowboarding in wintertime. Once he learned the basic skills in a class he began to venture out to the slopes. He skipped the entry-level track for beginners, thinking it too boring, and then quickly passed the intermediate level and started on the track for the advanced snowboarders. I remember that I held my breath while watching him being lifted to the top of the mountain, then disappearing from sight. When he reappeared I saw, unlike many reckless teenagers who flew down the steep slopes on their snowboards like chickens without heads, tumbling along the way, Eli cautiously gliding down the steep track; occasionally weaving around a little, until safely reaching the foot of the mountain. I was proud of him for his courage and felt relieved for his caution. As he described his snowboarding experience in his college application essay, “I go more for the tranquility, the meditative clarity one attains when trying not to die.”
4. Delivering the first public speech successful at your Bar Mitzvah: [Shaoping:] According to the Jewish tradition a boy at age 13 must go through Bar Mitzvah--an important ritual that marks his entrance into Jewish adulthood with pride and dignity. At his Bar Mitzvah the boy leads the audience to read a portion of Torah (part of the Old Testament), and then he has to deliver a speech to explain the meaning of the text he has read. This is most challenging since he needs to translate the old teachings to contemporary dilemmas. Unfortunately the Torah portion Eli was assigned to read that day was about leprosy, a difficult disease to cure at the time when the Torah was written. Not only did Eli have to read the chapter in Hebrew but also he had to explain to the audience his own understanding of the disease--its religious and social implications--a difficult task for a 13-year-old to accomplish in front of so many people.
However Eli accepted the challenge beautifully. After months of preparation he delivered his speech to the audience with poise and confidence. He started with reading the Torah portion in Hebrew, and then gave a summary of it in English. After that he went on to describe the procedure for curing a leper in the old time and commented on the connection between body and soul. “Mind and body should be connected by purity,” he emphasized, but “that connection has diminished very drastically in a world filled with material desires and cosmetic obsessions.”
Then he turned the issue to himself, stating, “I need to discover in my own life the idea of purity that is described in my Torah portion today. With any luck I won't need to find a treatment for leprosy, but I will still need to figure out what purity of mind and soul and body mean to me.” “Obviously,” he observed, “the process of purification is enough to scare even the most hardened leper straight to remission!” His humorous remarks on leprosy aroused hearty laughs from the audience.
[Len:] It was a triumphant speech. We were proud of Eli for a job well done at age 13. As I said then, we are very satisfied with the way you are taking your life in your own hands: more and more, you are making your own decisions, gathering facts needed to make those decisions, carrying them out, and accepting their consequences. In other words, you have already shown that you are very capable of taking on responsibility and getting the job done, and we like the way you are doing that.
5. Receiving your undergraduate degree from Brown University: [Shaoping:] In May 2011 we attended the Commencement Day for both Eli and Sara at Brown. We were delighted that Eli received his undergraduate degree in Computational Biology, and at the same time we got to know Sara, a lovely girl now part of Eli’s life. They both were bright students and they both loved music, often playing classical duets on piano. While Eli likes cello Sara enjoys French horn. What a compatible pair of music lovers!
6. Being admitted into Stanford as a Ph. D student in genetics: [Shaoping:] We are especially proud of Eli getting admitted into the Genetics Department at Stanford after two failed attempts. We are happy that he has found his career path after wondering about it for a while.At one point Eli was thinking of working at the Exploratorium in San Francisco to design scientific exhibits as a museum exhibit designer, but it didn’t happen because he decided to follow his first love for computational biology.
7. Now you have chosen Sara as your life-long companion: [Shaoping] Last summer, leaving their jobs in Boston, Eli and Sara made a cross-country trip to California with a homemade trailer. Along the way they overcame a lot of difficult situations. For example, before the trip they discovered that their old car couldn’t endure the long journey. So Anita drove all the way from Indianapolis to deliver a reliable car. Then one of the wheels on the trailer almost fell off because the bolt used to hold the wheel to the hub was unexpectedly worn. They had to stay at a roadside motel for two days waiting it to be fixed. The 4000-mile-long trip cemented their relationship. The first thing Eli did when he came to our home was to make an announcement that he and Sara were engaged. That happy news was music to our ears. Dear Eli and Sara:
In both the Chinese and Jewish cultures it’s the most enjoyable moment in the life of the parents watching their child getting married. Today Len and I are overjoyed that the two of you are formally tying the knot in the presence of your parents, relatives and friends. Your wedding has not only brought us a daughter who we always dreamed of having, but also expanded our family to include the Hoffmans--Rob, Anita, David and Stephen and other relatives. Your marriage has made our family bigger, stronger, and more interesting. From our experience we know that marriage is not always an easy thing.It is like a long journey; full of ups and downs, twists and turns, but perseverance has kept us together happily over all those years. We hope two of you will continue that long journey, working together as a team to overcome any problems that may arise down the road. We also hope you will never forget your roots, in Eli’s case Chinese and Jewish roots, and continue to carry on the good values from those different cultures into your parenthood, passing your legacy and heritage on to the next generation. Please always remember that your parents are here and we will always be here to support you every step of the way. We love you both unconditionally. You both have been a source of joy and strength for us.Thank you for bringing us to this great affair. Our deepest love and best wishes for you both.